Chip Kidd's The Learners

This is also found on my Goodreads page: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/670775772

The Learners- Chip Kidd

Once in a while, a book cover startles you enough that you either wind up purchasing the book from the store, or borrowing it from the library. This happened to me with the novel, “The Learners” by coincidentally, famed book cover designer Chip Kidd. For starters, I knew he had designed the covers of novels written by famed authors Michael Ondjaate and Michael Crichton, but had no idea he was a writer himself-only after having bought a copy of “The Learners”- only because I saw the novel’s bizarre cover at the Strand Bookstore.

How I miss The Strand, and walking inside that wonderful store during hot summer days in Manhattan. But that’s another story.

I just finished reading “The Learners”- which happened to be a sequel to Kidd’s “The Cheese Monkeys” though thank goodness, is a stand-alone book. I wouldn’t have bought “The Learners” had I known it was a sequel. But it was thanks to that intriguing book cover and design.

The book is about book designer, Happy- who gets a job as an assistant at a New Haven mom and pop ad agency after graduating from college. At the same time, he finds himself participating in a series of disturbing and true experiments conducted by psychologist Stanley Milligram- asked to administer electroshock therapy to “learners” who failed to answer questions from memory correctly. Instances of lighthearted 60s banter reminiscent of Stanley Donen films of the 1960s and of the TV show “Mad Men” come into light, contrasted with the true story of Stanley Milligram’s experiments make this an interesting and dark work overall;  making it true and enjoyable summer reading.

What Are You Doing The Rest of Your Life?- Michel Legrand.

A few years ago, I had been listening to the Michel Legrand song, "What are you doing the rest of your life?"- and the song title haunted me. Not only was the title extremely long; but it actually inspired me to write. I have no idea if it bears any relevance in my life today-(I wrote this in 2005) but maybe you can tell me what it means, dear reader? I wrote a response to the song. Maybe I had been in love then.

                  Tell Me Something- A Rambling, Incoherent Piece.

Tell me something. What are you doing the rest of your life?

What are you talking about? North and south and east and west of your life? What? I have no clue what you’re trying to say. Yes I do. I have only one request of your life: that you spend it all with me! Oh. I don’t know. I’m sure we can work something out. He laughs. He doesn’t think it’s at all funny. Why are you laughing? I didn’t think that was funny. I was being serious. I was just asking you…He interrupts: You were asking me what I was doing the rest of my life. Of course, I will spend it all with you. Me? Really? A wistful, sad tone rang throughout his voice. Of course, you silly. Only you. You’re all I ever will recall of my life is all of my life with you…Shhhh. Time to sleep. Put your arms around me. Ok. Good night. They held each other that night, as if the blankets were about to enfold them against the dark world that was their cold little apartment.

Tell me something. What? What do you mean, ‘What’? You know what I’m talking about. If you did, what are you talking about? Tell me where you were last night. Last night? Yes. Last night. Tell me. I was worried sick. You know I go out a lot. Why worry? It’ll only make you sick. Sit down before you have a stroke. Fine. Fine. I won’t ask. I just wished you could have called. I don’t like worrying. Don’t worry. I’m a big boy. A big boy. Come on. A playful, desperate tone was heard inside his voice. Sit down. I’ll get us a glass of wine. Or maybe some coffee. What do you want? I don’t want anything. I just wanted you to realize that I was worried. Worried that you might have left me. Ok. I’m irritated. You want to know the truth? I was out. I’ve met someone. He loves me. I’m leaving you. I like you a lot and it’s going to hurt. But I’m walking out on you. I need someone to need me. You don’t need anybody. You don’t and you know that. I’m leaving everything. Don’t worry about me. Door shuts. He walks out. He is alone standing by the sofa. He saw the look of happiness on his face. Almost elation. The crushing feeling of rejection overcomes him.

What are you doing the rest of your life….Little boy blue. Boy blue. Almost….WhatareyoudoingtherestofyourlifeYou’reallIeverwillrecallofmylifeisallofmylifewithyou. Shhhh. I’m a blue boy. Blue. Almost Blue. But blue. Not beautiful. I’m everything but beautiful. Yes. Everything but. Anything but. Shhh. Listen. Don’t say a word…Sit down. I’ll tell you everything. But tell me something. Tell me everything. Something. Why? Because I think that I’m doing something. What? Something finally right. 

 It was rather cold the next day. Cold and clammy. Feeling the November wind brushing against his cheeks. Sad. Crying. Trying not to. Holding back. It had been almost a year. Since that happened. One year. Well, too bad. But come to think of it, too fast. Too much. Wishing. Wishing that he didn’t have to hurry home. He didn’t want to think about it. About being alone. But that’s reality. It all comes and goes. Like a flurry of fall leaves rustling about Union Square Park. As they fly round and round, some of them trampled by a happy couple jogging. Or run over by the irate taxi driver. Crumbling. Breaking. Like his heart. It had broken. So fast. Sadly. He knew. It was over.

He saw him again about three months later. Frigid February. He invited him to come inside. He tells him that it didn’t work out. He tells him that it had been a mistake all along. But he had been blind. He asks for forgiveness. Would he? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. Give me some time. The solitude’s been great. I like being pensive. A silence. Then he breaks down hysterically. Watching this little episode made him feel better. Knowing he had been missed. But now, he knew he was getting his vengeance.

  

Talk to me. Please. What’s on your mind. That’s better. What do you want me to say?  I’ll do it. I’ll be there in an hour. Don’t worry. In an hour. I don’t care if it’s late. It’s only midnight…Soon it will be morning.

 

I’ve made my mistakes. I know I’ve made them. But I tried so hard to love you. You hear me? I did. I tried. I don’t want to be alone. What? Well, that’s one of the reasons. One of the many. Many. Many reasons why I didn’t say anything. My heart’s bleeding, can’t you see? Can’t you hear? It’s cracking. Heart cracks. Heart cracking into two. You don’t have say anything. You don’t have to do anything. Just stay with me. It’s because I want you to talk to me. I don’t want to be alone. No, not tonight. Please. I’m asking. Asking. Hold me. He asks. All right. For tonight. I will. Good. I want to be held. Tightly. Tightly. Tears. They pour out. Like little daggers of hurt and pain soaking into his arms, upon his smooth bare skin. 

 

Shhh. Just close your eyes. I am trying hard to love you. Don’t. What? Don’t try. Just do. But you don’t. What does it matter if I don’t? Just do it. Love me if you want to. It’s late. Yes. And cold. And I don’t want to be alone. I know you don’t want to be alone.

           

What are you going to do for the rest of your life?…Oh, I don’t know. I suppose go off somewhere else. Go back to school. I need to do something. Really. Yes. And you? I think I’ll stay here in New York. Yes, and I will go on. Yes, you will go on. Alone. And you can do it. I know I can. It’s just going to be hard without you. I feel the same way.

Tell me something. What? What are you doing the rest of your life? I know what you’re talking about? North and south and east and west of your life. I will miss you. And I will miss this. I have only one request of your life: that you spend it all with me…I know. And you know we can’t. Pull yourself together. Smile for me. Don’t cry. Sitting there, counting my fingers….Good bye. Door shuts. He exits.

Update- July 2013.

It's hard to believe that it's been 11 months since I've written on this thing, and so much has happened that musing about it online is going to be a big feat- my memory is completely jumbled about all the events that have happened since August 2012.

I am listening to Irene Kral's "A Time for Love" right now in the wee hours of the summer morning. She's a beautiful voice to be reckoned with; an unsung hero in the jazz/cabaret world. A year ago I wasn't using Spotify. Thank god for Spotify- so I can actually listen to whole, complete albums without purchasing the whole record. I'm a poor teacher. I cannot afford to consistently download or purchase albums.

"A time for spring...but best of all, a time for love"-- isn't that pretty?

Moving on forward, midyear style 2012

I haven't been blogging as much, but I guess the time now is as good as any to write again--for therapeutic reasons of course. I would say it's midyear 2012, and so far it hasn't been all that good to me. I'm already hoping and wishing for 2013 to come, but it's still a long way away; though, it will be here before I know it.

I just want to write this-- I've been really thankful to have so many good friends in my life, even though I may not see everyone every day. It's cliche, and I feel a little embarrassed to be saying it over and over, I am thankful. Family moving in and out of my life; changes at the job, new beginnings, the ending of relationships, and the hope of new ones have all happened. I would like for it to stop, for there are some painfully awkward moments of silence that I can't seem to bear that happen quite often; but it does go away. I have to keep hoping it goes away and it's up to me. But I can't do it alone. 

Spring Break 2012: Part 2

Part II: Spring Break in Brooklyn, March 2012.

I just finished a fantastic three day run in Brooklyn again. First, my ex-boyfriend and best friend Eric’s short-story is about to be published. The title: The Margins of Tolerance.

It’s dramatic, darkly humorous, gay-themed, and quite sexy from what I’ve heard. I can’t wait to get my hands on the final product. He will have a reading at the Unnameable Bookstore in Prospect Heights later during the early summer.

For the most part, it was a relaxing trip—reading, food again. My friends Lauren, Doug and Chris also came in for brief and fun appearances. I love them all so much.

 Adam and Me

 Lauren and Me

 Eric and Chris. My two favorite Brooklyn Boys. Eric= Babbie. Chris= :)

Fantastic theater musings:

The third Broadway revival of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Jesus Christ Superstar” was pedestrian at best. Strong singers and vocals plus an over-the-top Judas (Jeremy Kushiner, understudy) couldn’t save what turned out to be a bombastic and soulless show. But the next show (see pic below, was HOT!)

BAM’s production of Restoration-era playwright’s Tis Pity She’s a Whore by the innovative Cheek-By-Jowl troupe from Europe was the theatrical highlight I wanted and found. Playing at the Harvey Theater in Ft. Greene, it was a shocking, over-the-top delight to watch and behold. It’s a story of incest, greed, revenge and murder, with a brother and sister, Giovanni and Annabella at its center. It was sexually-charged, white-hot show that will forever linger in my mind. From sexy encounters (the brother, played by Jack Gordon is fucking sexy---I couldn’t get my eyes off his body) and a squirm inducing scene where a character’s tongue is ripped out; it was a cross between a Euripedes play and a Quentin Tarantino erotic bloodbath.

Spring Break 2012: Part 1

Part I: Spring Break in Florida, March 2012

Kem crooning "Share My Life"

I haven’t written much on this almost-spinster-blog in almost a year. So I thought, why not start again? It’s a great, therapeutic journal format that allows you, unfaithful readers and web-page gawkers to look into my life…which is not so bad at the moment. I always end up writing a lot more during vacations anyway because—well, when you’re teaching, you really don’t have the time to blog as much.

My Spring break endeavors from teaching consisted of me first going to the Miami Jazz Festival. I went with my roommate and a dear friend. The lineup consisted of Kem, Jill Scott, Patti LaBelle, Kenny G and Mary J. Blige. It was broken up into two nights. The first night was Kem and Jill Scott as the line-up. Kem was a well-dressed crooner who swooned all the ladies. My roommate’s friend who went with us canoodled with her husband which was pretty sweet. But for me…somewhat single? Maybe a little too sappy.

My best friend Rozanne and I awaiting for Mary J. Blige's entrance

Jill Scott on the other hand, by the time midnight rolled around, had not shown up yet. The rain began to fall. We forced ourselves to leave. The night was cool and damp. We had no umbrellas. The next night fared much better. Kenny G was his energetic self playing nostalgic 80s tunes such as “Forever in Love” and “Songbird”. Patti LaBelle was strong vocally; but was definitely cloying and a trying experience. Her “Lady Marmalade” and getting some local boys to sing with her from the audience was at least a slight highlight. But the night belonged to Queen Mary J. Energetic, forceful and ever sounding so youthful, she belted out hits such as “Real Love”, “No More Drama” (complete with sermons about staying in school and staying away from co-dependent relationships) and “Family Affair” to a raucous and joyful crowd. I want to see her again.